A Full Day of NLP Life Coach Training
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NLP Life Coach
1 Day full time
There is no pre-requisite for this course
This NLP Life Coach Fundamentals Workshop is one of the most amazing self discovery journeys that will reveal your true abilities and capabilities– uncovering the full potential of your mind and body. Through this workshop you will gain an in-depth understanding of the fundamentals of NLP & Coaching, and the NLP Success minded principles that is the cornerstone of the world’s most successful people.
NLP is very much a hands on experience. Reading about it is great to give you a taster, but you cannot truly learn it or get a deep understanding without practicing it and using it on a regular basis, in the same way that you can’t learn to drive a car from reading a book, even a really cool pop-up book with sound effects.
This one day NLP Life coach Fundamentals workshop will give you the opportunity to see, feel and experience the benefits and power of NLP for yourself, and why it has been so effective in empowering so many people around the world in their personal and working lives.
THE HUMAN BRAIN
When you look at the human brain, you need to understand that there is a difference between the
conscious and the subconscious and one of the concepts about the subconscious is that there is no
time in the subconscious, everything is in the present. So when you have a memory for example, even though the memory is something that is in the past your brain pulls it into the subconscious and it gets illuminated or revealed in the subconscious, and while that memory is playing in your subconscious mind, your brain experiences it as if it is happening at the moment. It is one of the reasons why a memory can trigger an emotion, because if you understand how the brains files data and stores memories, every memory is stored with an attached emotion to it, so when that memory is extracted into the brain and it is remembered the emotion attached to it triggers with it. Because your subconscious has no understanding about time, there is no yesterday, today or tomorrow, everything is now. The brain experiences that memory as if it is happening now. That is a good thing to use when you want to put someone in a state or yourself in a specific state but that concept has a little bit of a risk as well because the same rule applies when we start dreaming about tomorrow.
What happens to the brain when you dream those dreams, the brain experiences them as if they are happening? Now think about it from a different angle. Some of you know people that are in an abusive relationship, and have you ever met a woman that’s in an abusive relationship for a very long time and you wonder why they don’t just get out of it, its as if she is in a state of contentment and accepted it for some reason. One of the reasons this happens is because we daydream. If you are in an abusive relationship, what the brain often does is it dreams about a good relationship and because the subconscious brain cannot differentiate between time, the subconscious mind cannot differentiate between fake or real, synthetic or actual. This is simplistic when we think about movies. When you watch a movie, ladies, when you watch a chick flick like the notebook, you cry every time at the same scene. When you watch a movie, intellectually, you know that that character busy dying, that your crying about will re-appear in another soap opera next week. But you still cry about it because a part of the brain does not differentiate between time and reality. It experiences what it experiences as if it is happening now and as if it is real, there is no differentiation. When your brain experiences a dream state of happiness, it means you are experiencing happiness. If you are in a bad situation and dream about a good situation your brain and subconscious mind, your emotional state experiences the good situation as if it is happening, and that very often creates a state of contentment. In other words, even though part of my life is miserable, I have times where I have good moments. Even if those good moments are fake moments.
THE RISK OF DAY-DREAMING
Here is the risk of that, it very often causes us to dream about what we want to achieve, experience it in the short term, and then it allows us to still sit on the coach and do nothing about it because we have experienced it, and that short experience gives us a state of contentment. Part of our brain believes it has happened, so we don’t put in the energy and the effort and the behaviour to make it happen. That is one of the reasons we very often procrastinate on our amazing goals because we think about them, we dream about them, we experience them and because we have experienced them, part of the brain says you have experienced it so there for you don’t have to do anything about it. And tomorrow we wake up feeling miserable because nothing has happened in our lives and then we go back into that dream state.
2 Types of dreams
There is an old saying in the project management field, failing to plan, is planning to fail. Unless you
have a well-structured, well-formed strategy plan, step by step on how you are going to achieve that
dream, you might find yourself dreaming about the dream and not doing anything about it. So, what I
have done in my life is I have differentiated two types of dreams in my life. The one type of dream I call a dream. But the other type, I do a deliberate action plan where I apply discipline and courage and I act on that action plan. Those dreams I call goals. So, there is a fine line between a dream and a goal. And the fine line is, the one has a strategy to it and action and behavior. The moment we start acting we start getting into a motion.
GET INTO IT
Have you ever gone to the gym or wanted to do some exercise, sometimes beforehand you just don’t feel like it and the first 5 minutes of it your just lethargic, and not really putting in a lot of effort, but once you start getting into it, something just kicks in and you start putting in a huge amount of effort and you’re on roller-coaster of an energy drive and you start producing amazing results. Goals have that. Dreams do not. There is a huge difference between the 2 and yet they are very close to each other. If you have dreams in your life and you have found yourself dreaming the same dream and realizing I’m not getting into it, you need to realize it is a dream and you have no right to call it a goal unless there is a strategy and action attached to it. See the difference between the two. So ask yourself what is your goal because here is the strangest thing about this, if you merely keep dreaming and not convert the dream into a goal with a strategy and an action plan and then a behavior, what you will find is that external factors will start creating and forcing you to behave in certain ways, then you become reactive, and you don’t live a life of pro-active. The moment you become reactive, you become controlled or influenced by something on the outside. You are not in control of your life. The moment you become proactive, then you become in control of your life. And that is a massive difference. If you look at successful people and you look at unsuccessful people, that is very often the main differentiating factor.
Act on your goals
It doesn’t matter if you feel great, unless there is a behavioral response to it, it is merely just a dream. There is how many people around this world, that have been dreaming the same thing as you and they have been thinking I need to go do that, I need to go on that workshop, that thing has been offered for free, there is something really interesting about this. And then they dream about doing it and then nothing happens. Because there is no action.
MOTIVATION – FALSE STATE
Motivation is one of the biggest false emotional states you can experience. Motivation is a false
emotional state. Motivation does not create action. Now I am not knocking motivational speakers, they are critical in our society and I love motivational speakers. But have you ever been to a motivational speaker session and at the end of the session you find yourself really pumped; you are ready to take on the world? You are energized, you know this is the moment you have been waiting for, and you know you are now going to kick ass. You are going to make this stuff happen and then the next day nothing happens. And then the next day you have forgotten about it, and the next week you are back into your normal default behavior patterns and your tank is empty and the only way you can ever feel like that is to go back to a motivational speaker.
Motivation is part of the brain that gets disillusioned about a potential outcome. It experiences something in the future as if it has already happened and then it feels fantastic. Motivational states are often very similar to a dream state, so I want you to look at it differently. I want to tell you a story. Let’s assume there are two guys standing on a cliff and at the bottom there is a beautiful ocean and these two guys want to jump off the cliff. Number one decides he is jumping, as he is
jumping, he has this adrenaline rush, and swoosh into the ocean. Very thrilled and excited he now runs back up the cliff and to the top. Number two took a few steps back and decided he is not going to jump. Now they are both standing on the cliff, which one now feels motivated to jump, very simple, the one that has already jumped. We believe we need to feel motivated before we take
action, we don’t. First and foremost, before we take action, you need to experience hope, hope is a future emotion that says if I do something there will be a result. It is an emotion of positive expectation that something could happen. Once I have hope or I have the positive expectation
that something can happen. The next state I will need is courage. You see the guy that jumped for the first time, in that moment what he experienced was hope, was a potential expectation but combined with that he also experienced fear. He also experienced a nervous state and inside of those states he applied courage to push him through those states, take the leap, have the experience. Because he has now had that experience the brain can now reference that experience. Now the brain is motivated to experience it again. What motivational speakers do is they allow your brain to tap into things you have achieved in the past, create that in a way where you believe you are experiencing it in your future. And now you feel motivated that you can do it again, but if it is a new behavior you will not take action. You need to apply courage. Courage combined with discipline creates sustainability and results.
A deadline forces a human to take courage, but here is the difference.
If you decide you want to go for a run, and you don’t go for a run and you dreamed about the run, but you are not taking any action on it. If you decide to get fit and you want to run every day. To start that process you need courage and discipline to start to action so you can get into a motion. Then you start feeling motivated and you start doing this more and more. That is a towards strategy behavior, because you are starting to run because you want to get fit. But there is another way to get you to start running and that is by putting a snake in your room. That is a fear-based behavior. And all fear-based behaviors are not sustainable, because you will only run up to the moment where you believe you have gotten away from that initial catalyst that got you to run. The moment that fear is gone you will stop running. If you believe that time-frames are what gets you going then you must start to realize that you are living in a fear based kick-start behavior. Would you rather want to live in a fear based kick-start behavioral pattern or would you rather want to live in a courage, disciplined, congruent behavior? Step into it, take the first action. Teach your brain to become proactive, start taking the actions, then get into that discipline, then start feeling the pleasure, the rush from it, now you are motivated to start the motion going, and now congruence and a continuous behavior will start. It is a simple thing to reflect quickly. Think about times when you take a short holiday, and you go on holiday for a few days, let us assume you have worked very hard up until that point. Have you noticed that you need to unlearn the behavioral pattern of working consistently , the first day or two your brain and body actually struggles to get out of the motion of working, because that congruence is installed. You must teach yourself to relax, but once you have taught yourself to relax, have you also noticed that now you have to apply courage
again, to get back into the action and then the flowing of the motion, to get back into that work zone. But once you are there, it starts becoming easier and easier and you start doing more and more. Its patterns, its programs, its repetition.
How do I install this to become automatic in it?
When you build your strategy and structure your goals, you need to install a personal self-celebration on every small achievement. So, every couple of days you want to have some form of measure in place, where once you have achieved it, you can celebrate it by rewarding yourself. Now self-reward is something a lot of people struggle with. Self-reward is not when I go and I am happy and I hold up a poster and say look guys I am happy, self-reward is when I treat myself to something. Now I love chocolate, so one of the ways I treat myself is I literally take a bite of a piece of chocolate, I do not need to eat the slab to reward. The gift or self-celebration can be extremely small, but what I want you guys to understand. If I do a strategy and it takes me 6 months to complete, but inside of that strategy, once a week or at max once every 2 weeks I have a small self-celebration of achievement where I reward myself, it might be I go for a walk, it might be I work in the garden, it might be I sit down for 20 mins and play a game, it might be I go and meditate, it might be I listen to a beautiful song, it might be I eat a piece of chocolate. It is some kind of behavior where I say this behavior is my celebration reward for achieving. If I do this every week or every 2 weeks for the next couple of months, I am reprogramming my subconscious mind that discipline is rewarding. That discipline comes with celebration.
We need to understand as humans we only have a single fear. You are only born with one fear. The
fear of the unknown. That is why we are scared of the dark and scared of unknown things. We do not like running in the mist because we don’t know what is ahead of us. As humans we would like to know what is ahead of us. So, our biggest fear is the fear of the unknown. When you plan a goal, when you start to build strategies, when you realize you have a very scary, magnificent, bodacious goal you want to achieve, if you have never achieved it in your life before, it is an unknown, because its an unknown, instinctively as humans we go into a state of fear. It is not a fear of failure, that is a complete disillusion lie, it’s a fear of the unknown. But because the brain struggles to comprehend this fear of the unknown, it tries to give it meaning. In the process where the brain tries to give it meaning, it starts believing it’s a fear of potential failures. It has to justify the fear to itself, so it starts coming up with potential reasons of why it is fear. And those potential reasons are possible things that can maybe go wrong. Now if you think of your own life, how many times have you feared something in the future that could possibly go wrong. But 99% of the time it didn’t even happen, and the 1% of the time, you realized its not so bad After all. The reason that happens is because that future fear is a disillusion. It’s a complete disillusion that the mind creates. The mind fears the unknown. Now what do you need to step into the unknown. Not motivation, not inspiration. You need courage. It is in hat moment of fearing your own greatness that you need courage to become the person you can become. If you stay in your comfort zone, you will feel content, you will feel safe. Being safe in life and in a content state, being in a comfort zone, is the biggest handbrake that is holding you back from your true potential.
How do I activate courage?
You act in the midst of it. You do. It is a verb. To apply courage is not an emotional state. Applying
courage is a verb, its an action. You start doing something. Force yourself to do something. What is
the one thing? I often get people telling me I want to become a motivational speaker but I am petrified of speaking in front of groups, if you listen to people that have become speakers, and ill use myself as an example, you think I woke up one day and decided I want to be a speaker and speak in front of 1000s of people, and I had no fear. Of course, I was afraid. Some of the guys that know me well, every time I need to speak in front of a new group, especially if it is a large group, I still experience fear, I have a massive amount of nerves. Courage means, in the midst of that fear, act!
How to break limiting beliefs, and How to interrupt the cycle of limiting beliefs. One of the things I found out was that a lot of people do not understand truly what a limiting belief is and how it develops. So, let us start at the beginning. Let us start with what is a limiting belief. A limiting belief is merely a belief that you have accepted of something that is a negative in your life. In other words, a limiting belief is the moment you have a believe where there is a statement like I cannot, I’m not capable of, or there’s a negative, I’m too young, I’m too old, I’m too skinny, I’m too fat, I’m too smart, I’m too stupid, I’m too this or that. I cannot be loved, I cannot give love, I cannot be light, I haven’t got the capability, I haven’t got the skills, I cannot do this, I cannot do that, that’s a limiting belief. It is when there is a belief inside of your mind of something negative about your skills, your capabilities and who you are.
So where does a limiting belief come from.
The first thing we need to understand is that a limiting belief is not natural. Let me explain. Let us assume that you are a child and you know you have just been born. Now you are about one, one and a half years old and if you understood the concept of limiting beliefs, you would be looking around at the people. Around you, you notice that everybody can walk, but you cannot, so there is a possibility that the thought of everybody can walk but I cannot enter your brain. That could then become a limiting belief. Now the limiting belief will hinder you to attempt to walk because the belief says I cannot walk. Everybody else is walking, I cannot walk, so why try. If a child was born with limiting beliefs they would not have the courage, they will not have the tenacity, they will not have the ability to develop and grow, learn to walk, learn to talk, learn to communicate, learn to interact, learn to be creative. Limiting beliefs hinder us to act on things in our lives that we need to act on.
So, where do they come from?
Limiting believes are usually some kind of an external event that happens. Someone says something about you, someone shows you or responds in a certain way. So, in reality a limiting belief is an external lie about you, that you attach an emotion and a belief to and then accept. So, the moment you accept it, see that limiting belief has a very small seed, sometimes a limiting belief starts off very small, it’s a minor little thing but like anything in life, if we repeat the same behavior over and over it becomes a habit So, a limiting belief is a belief almost like a seed that gets planted in your brain, which you then entertain, in other words you think about it, you remember it, you attach an emotion to it. That repeats the cycle of an emotional experience inside of you, so what you are doing is you are cultivating the seed. You are feeding it; you are giving it fertile soil to grow in and develop and this limiting belief because you do it over and over and you’re repeating it becomes an unconscious habit. It becomes so strong eventually that the human brain and the body struggles to resist it. It becomes an internal truth to be as who we are as humans and it becomes part of our belief system. The moment it becomes a solid ingrained part of our belief system, that is when it becomes a limiting belief. Because now intellectually you might want to do something but the limiting belief is part of the subconscious brain that controls most of your decision-making processes, so even though intellectually you want to do something, the limiting beliefs is saying you can’t and it starts creating a potential fear of a future outcome in your brain and the moment that potential fear of the future outcome is in your brain, we resist, we hold back. We say this is dangerous, maybe I can get hurt, I should not do this.
It is like a seed in your brain
A limiting belief in its simplest form, is a belief that prevents you to take action in an area of your life that can most probably bring you joy, success, love, health and wealth. Listen to your limiting beliefs. Unpack them and realize every single one of them is the external lie that on a certain level in your mind, you’ve cultivated and allowed to become a magnificent, beautiful tree bearing fruit but that’s false fruit, it’s a weed, get it out. Replace it with the empowering belief. Take that limiting belief and turn it upside down and ask yourself what the opposite of it is. Get that opposite. Find the behavior that you need to take the action, you need to take back courage, tenacity, discipline and start acting it out. The moment you start acting it out against the limiting belief and you start realizing the fruits of it, the positives you gaining because you’ve overcome the limiting belief, you start to starve the limiting belief and you start feeding the new empowering belief. That is how we Change. That is how we go from zero to hero, from mediocrity to greatness. Challenge your own limiting beliefs. Take the opposite behavior, apply it in your life and start realizing the fruits and the benefits of it.
“It was a journey in discovering myself and giving me the tools to assist other people to better themselves”
– Johnny Terblanche
“It was a very informative and valuable course to add to a life coaches toolkit”
– Marlene Nortje